…in our weakness we can learn certain strengths: humility: suddenly, the plug is pulled. You’re not who you thought you were; and it hurts. You can’t think yourself out of it or get your act together. But with it, a savage freedom; a letting go – because it’s been taken from you. And in your emptiness, a new understanding of grace. God does it all – He always did, but now you see it. dependence: to survive, you must learn …Read More
Everything I’m reading at the moment seems to point to the necessity of Christian suffering. It’s not a message I’ve been seeking. In fact, I keep trying to post it back. I turn the pages of the bible. I put on a different song. I pray, ‘Ok God – but not for me. Not now and frankly, not ever.’ This week I even picked out a book entitled ‘Joy’ as an antidote. (It turned out to be about the joy that comes …Read More
We’ve recently adopted a little boy and are in the early stages of settling him in. The wee man is doing well, and we are so thankful to be at this point. We wouldn’t swap him for the world! We are also however, very tired. This is when stresses get under the skin and start to itch. Molehills tower over the stack of dishes and dirty nappies; it’s easy to feel like everything is too much. I have no time to …Read More
My daughter is obsessed with the story of ‘Beauty and the Beast’. In fact, it’s now the soundtrack to not just my waking, but my sleeping hours. Along with some great songs, it’s another window on the truths of the gospel. Here’s a brilliant video from Go Chatter that explains why… Share…FacebookTwitterTumblrPinterestGoogle+StumbleUponDiggemail
I love my dad. He’s smart and kind and honest and — brilliant. ‘You take after me,’ he says. I smile; but I don’t believe it. I thought you knew me better than anyone, dad. Why don’t you see it? How can you get me so wrong? I’m not the girl he thinks I am. ‘Take heart,’ he says, but I’m scared. ‘Rest,’ he says, but I run. ‘It’s OK to be you,’ he says, yet I pull on a …Read More
One from the archives…. God’s time-frame is not ours. And sometimes, He answers our prayers, a little later than we expect. When I was nine or ten, I entered a competition that our primary school was running with Belfast zoo. To enter, you had to write a poem about the new baby kangaroos. The winners would then get to visit them with the class, and – get this – give them kangaroo names. I felt sick just thinking about it. So, I got to work crafting the …Read More
It’s not OK to be me. It’s not OK to be weak. God doesn’t want to hear from me. My friends don’t want to hear from me. If I try I will fail. No-one else struggles like this. God can’t use me. Definitely not right now. Having needs makes me pathetic. Naming my desires is too dangerous. I must have what she has. I should be where he is. I know what they’re thinking. They should know what I’m thinking. …Read More
1. Know that God doesn’t hate you. Self-hatred is not God’s plan for your life. He is not calling you to focus on all the reasons why you’re odd or rubbish or stupid or shameful. He’s not waiting in the bushes with a long lens to capture your mistakes. He’s not scowling at the front of class or sniggering behind your back. He is not condoning the critical voiceover that punctuates your waking moments. Think of how you feel when …Read More
Recently I wrote on self harm, for the Desiring God website. As contradictory as it might sound, for the self-harmer, self-harm is self-help. So if we’re going to overcome self-harm, we need to embrace the help that God has given us elsewhere — help that does not scar us any further, but slowly begins to heal us. There’s no quick or easy solution. But for those who are struggling, there are three kinds of body that can bring about change…the crucified …Read More
The warnings: crying at almost everything. Choosing what to wear. Spilling sugar. Opening the blinds. Talking to another human being. Putting the duvet cover on. Finding the right change. not being able to cry. Or feel much of anything. Everyone and everything is behind a thick pane of glass and their words are muffled and you’re too tired to keep shouting ‘WHAAT?’… and anyway, your words are slow and not joined up and folks squint at you when you …Read More
