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guilt | A New Name guilt – A New Name

Ganging Up On The Guilties

By April 24, 2014 Blog

I’ve got a gift for guilt. For one thing, I was born with what mum calls a ‘guilty face’.  It looks like I did something bad, even when I didn’t.  But the more I’m quizzed, the more I start to think I did it. Like at primary school when someone blocked the toilets and the headmaster said we weren’t leaving until the guilty person owned up and I had to sit on my hands to stop myself confessing even though …Read More

Getting past your past

By November 27, 2013 Blog

A few weeks ago, we had a powerful guest post from a man who struggles with porn addiction. He talked with great remorse of how it had impacted his marriage; and of the battles he and his wife continue to face.  One question keeps coming back to me and it’s this: how do we move forward when we can’t undo the past? This is something I have had to think through – and still ask.  For years I routinely lied …Read More

Grace Is For Other People

By July 16, 2011 Blog

One of the worst things about sin and suffering are how they isolate you. Your struggles are bad enough, but the real killer isn’t the issue itself, it’s trying to cover it up. You feel ashamed or weird and so you back off from other people.  Even if you haven’t done anything wrong, you feel like you’ve got something to hide.  You act like you’re revolting and then you start to believe  it. You become a self-fulfilling shame prophecy. Like …Read More

Guilty Pleasures

By May 10, 2011 Blog

So wrong they’re right.. . Pressing all the buttons in lifts. Especially if there’s a small child who wants to do it first. Also pretending to press the open door button and looking regretful as it closes on someone. (Ok, I haven’t done this, but I really, really want to). The album, ‘Crossroads’. A snapshot: ‘I’m a cowboy, on a steel horse I ride’.   Jon Bon Jovi, you beautiful, beautiful man. Picking scabs. Peeling off sunburn. Dirty Dancing. ‘Nobody puts …Read More

When Everything Seems Broken

By February 10, 2011 Blog

I was talking recently with a friend who described her life, through tears, with these words – ‘everything is broken’. She’s having an especially hard time at the moment, but she’s not alone. For most of us, there are at least parts of our lives we’d like to undo, or erase completely. So what do we do with our mistakes? I’m not talking here about little blips.  Forgetting an anniversary –  or Valentine’s Day. (Glen, I’m giving you a heads …Read More