Man Overboard

By May 17, 2012 Blog

When we see someone drowning, our natural instinct is to dive in.  But if we’re not careful, we can end up sinking too. That’s the nature of addiction.  Like a pebble in a pond, it ripples outwards, drawing in, not just the sufferer, but all those in its path. Addicts in particular, exert a certain ‘pull’. It’s agonising to watch – and even harder to help.  But there’s a difference between caring about someone and taking responsibility for them.  You …Read More

Can You Help?

By March 16, 2012 Blog

It’s tempting to assume that churches are full of people who’ve got it together.  The Sunday morning freshly-scrubbed faces and starchy smiles that disguise altogether murkier and choppier depths.  The argument  that’s tidied away along with the breakfast dishes – or at least until the final hymn. Everyone else is fine.  You’re the only one with any issues. Of course, this is a nonsense idea.  Church is for those who recognise their need of a Saviour – not those who …Read More

When Words Fail

By June 1, 2011 Blog

Been talking to a friend who’s going through a really rough time right now. Searching for the words to encourage her, to rekindle her fight.  But perhaps there aren’t any.  Perhaps it’s a matter of praying and listening and being there. Perhaps, in some situations, there just aren’t any answers. Facing the past and facing your fears is not like an episode of Oprah.  There aren’t always cameras, recording your successes.  A studio audience, cheering you on.  A make-up and …Read More

A Little God for Little Problems?

By April 1, 2011 Blog

If as a church, we don’t respond to brokenness and mess, then here’s what we’re preaching: ‘Our God is too small.  And your problems are too big’. Some of the most devastating words I’ve ever heard were when I was dying (quite literally) of anorexia and had been discharged from the NHS .  After months of searching, Glen and I found ourselves with a Christian counsellor of 30 years experience. His words? ‘I’m sorry, this is far too big for …Read More

Lightening the Darkness

By December 15, 2010 Blog

I’ve been spending time today with a dear friend, talking about how the Lord has been working in our lives and of our shared experience. We’ve been thinking of the treasures that He has been able to bring out of times of darkness. And of our experience of church community as a way of shining light into the depths. On the surface, her struggles look different to mine. But the dynamics of addiction and enslavement are very similar. For both of …Read More

The Helper’s High

By November 29, 2010 Blog

I’ve been reading about a book by Allan Luks, called ‘The Healing Power of Doing Good’. According to Luks, over millions of years our bodies have developed a mechanism whereby we are rewarded when we do good. He argues that, having learnt the value of ‘cooperation’ as a ‘good survival strategy’, being nice to others produces what’s known as the ‘helper’s high’. The hormonal equivalent of a well done me, every time I do something kind for someone else. This …Read More

Helping Hints

By November 29, 2010 Blog

So you want to help a hurting friend… Remember: You’re the same! ·         We all have different struggles, but we are all sinners in need of rescue You’re not the saviour – Jesus is ·         Beware the temptation to make yourself the savior – keep pointing others back to Him Share the mess… long-term ·         You don’t need a PhD in counselling.  You do need prayer, prayer and more prayer. ·         Extra help may be needed in times of transition, …Read More