Back to school – for some, it’s great. But for others, (parents/carers and kids), it’s a nightmare. So what can you do to help an anxious child? Recognise that fear takes different forms. For one child it’s an obsession with getting everything ‘right’ … for another, indifference and refusal to try. As adults, we can take a step back. What is the child communicating with their behaviour? Are they trying to get attention because they need reassurance? Are they opting …Read More
Part 2 of Sharon’s wonderful guest post. (Read part 1 here) The Church and Severe Mental Illness When Paul wrote to the church at Corinth, he referred to it as the ‘body of Christ’, which had ‘many parts’ (1 Corinthians 12:27,12). He emphasised that every part – or person – in the church body was important: “On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and the parts that we think are less honourable …Read More
If you’re caring for someone who’s struggling… Don’t try to be the Messiah, (that job’s taken). You can’t make it all better. But you can reach out as a friend – someone with your own struggles; who wants to walk alongside them, not pat them on their head. Count the cost. If you want to help someone long-term, what will that mean for you? What boundaries do you need to set? What can you provide and what support do you …Read More
let them choose how they want to express it. If they want to talk and talk and talk; fine. If they don’t want to; or need to try and move on, then that’s fine too. They have no control over losing their loved one; so let them handle this the way they need. don’t pretend it hasn’t happened. You don’t have to have perfect words; or even good ones. But acknowledge their loss and their pain. Speak to them if …Read More
If you’re struggling with an eating disorder and you go to your GP, you’re doing something enormously brave. You’re making yourself vulnerable. You’re sticking two fingers up to an addiction that can kill. You’re saying no to a host of voices that tell you, “you’re not sick enough, you don’t deserve any help.” The last thing you need to hear from your GP are the same words. “I’m sorry, but you’re not ill enough to qualify for treatment.” Sadly, this is …Read More
When I give my testimony, I sometimes talk to people afterwards. The number one question I’m asked is this: How do I help my loved one give up an addiction? Every fibre of me wants to say, “here; here’s the answer. Here’s what helps me; here’s what will help you.” But I can’t. Because I don’t have one. For one thing, I’m far from the finished product. I speak out of weakness, not as someone with answers, but someone who’s taking her questions …Read More
Encourage sufferers to seek help: the earlier they receive it, the better their chances of recovery. Watch out for warning signs: e.g. seeking reassurance, doing things over and over, irritability/indecisiveness, extreme reactions to minor things, spending a long time doing activities/being late, taking longer than usual over small tasks. If they’ve been prescribed medication, encourage them to keep taking it. Don’t support them in their rituals (e.g; washing towels or keeping things in a certain order). It’s natural to want to …Read More
1. Take off my label. If I’m going to move forward, I need to know that I am more than this. I can’t yet see it. But you can help me grow into someone that doesn’t yet exist. 2. Be real. The gospel says we’re made of the same sinful, broken, redeemed, grace-hungry stuff. Show me this is true. Don’t pity or patronise me. Be my friend. 3. Point up, not in. I want you to save me. I want you to …Read More
How do you ‘do’ pastoral care? Is it something that requires training? A hospital placement? A degree in theology? A specific calling? These things can be helpful. But I reckon much of it comes down to two things: curiosity – and compassion. 1. Curiosity: being interested in the person you’re with. Simple, eh? But not easy. At least, not for me.. Often, instead of listening, I’ll be talking to someone and thinking about myself. Waiting for the opportunity to wedge in …Read More
What do you do if someone you love is caught up in an addiction? They want help – but the help they want is not the kind they need. They want to be rescued, or just left alone – but you can’t do either. They’re trapped and unable to get out – but every day they make decisions which mire them deeper in the mess. So. You can be hard. I can’t help you. I won’t. Sort yourself out and come back …Read More
