It’s not OK to be me. It’s not OK to be weak. God doesn’t want to hear from me. My friends don’t want to hear from me. If I try I will fail. No-one else struggles like this. God can’t use me. Definitely not right now. Having needs makes me pathetic. Naming my desires is too dangerous. I must have what she has. I should be where he is. I know what they’re thinking. They should know what I’m thinking. …Read More
1. Know that God doesn’t hate you. Self-hatred is not God’s plan for your life. He is not calling you to focus on all the reasons why you’re odd or rubbish or stupid or shameful. He’s not waiting in the bushes with a long lens to capture your mistakes. He’s not scowling at the front of class or sniggering behind your back. He is not condoning the critical voiceover that punctuates your waking moments. Think of how you feel when …Read More
The warnings: crying at almost everything. Choosing what to wear. Spilling sugar. Opening the blinds. Talking to another human being. Putting the duvet cover on. Finding the right change. not being able to cry. Or feel much of anything. Everyone and everything is behind a thick pane of glass and their words are muffled and you’re too tired to keep shouting ‘WHAAT?’… and anyway, your words are slow and not joined up and folks squint at you when you …Read More
My daughter loves wearing trainers, so I took her to buy some new ones. The sales assistant offered her three options in her size. Purple ones (with glitter), green ones (with a robot trim), and finally, navy ones. They all fitted – (and they were all fabulous), but she wasn’t keen. ‘No, no, no.’ It was late and the shop was closing, so I asked, ‘Are you sure?’ ‘Yes. None of these.’ ‘Ok,’ I said. ‘If you’re not going to wear …Read More
It’s January; the month of resolutions and regimes. The month of trying harder. Do everything differently. Begin again. There are times when we need to make big changes. For example, a habit that’s become an addiction; or a pressing health concern that won’t be ignored. But, in the main, I’m in favour of little changes. Over time, a tiny tip on the rudder, completely alters your course. don’t put on a brave front: talk to trusted friends and family. If …Read More
Yesterday IVP posted an article of mine. It begins… Not long ago, I was taking my daughter, Ruby for a walk. It was mid-afternoon and she was building a tower of pebbles on the beach. My phone (which had been off all day), buzzed with an urgent question relating to work. So I tapped out a two-sentence reply. In the time it took me to type, Ruby ran behind me and tripped over the pebbles. It was my fault. I’d taken …Read More
I’ve been asked to do a video on good mental health habits; and I’d love to get your wisdom. Here’s some of mine; Talk it out – don’t bottle it up. Expressing feelings can be a big struggle for lots of us with MH issues. Sometimes it’s a trigger, (you feel bad, but don’t know why; you don’t have anyone to talk to; you learned that negative emotions are ‘bad’, so you look to other ways to ‘speak’ such as …Read More
Back to school – for some, it’s great. But for others, (parents/carers and kids), it’s a nightmare. So what can you do to help an anxious child? Recognise that fear takes different forms. For one child it’s an obsession with getting everything ‘right’ … for another, indifference and refusal to try. As adults, we can take a step back. What is the child communicating with their behaviour? Are they trying to get attention because they need reassurance? Are they opting …Read More
Acknowledge your feelings but remind them that you’re in charge. Think of them as a two year-old who needs reassurance and a bit of loving firmness. Remember, you have felt like this before; and it was all ok. If in doubt, stick to your usual plan/routine. (The one you made before your brain was flooded with adrenalin). But Don’t try to do too much. It’s tempting to over schedule when you’re stressed, but you need downtime too. Work out …Read More
My daughter has just started nursery. For a three year-old this is a very big deal, so we talked beforehand about what she could expect. A new place and new people. New things to learn; new toys and routines. ‘Mummy and daddy won’t be there’ we said, ‘but you can take Derek.’ Derek is Ruby’s dinosaur; and where she goes, he follows. The park and the toilet and the beach and the bus. She told Derek ‘I love you,’ long …Read More
