Don Carson relates an interview he heard with a man who’d been married for 60 years: ‘Have you ever considered divorce?’ the man was asked. ‘Divorce?’ he replied, ‘never. But murder – often”. Marriage is not easy. I don’t know any couple who can’t understand what that man means on some level. But when you’re facing times of murderous incomprehension, it can feel like you’re alone. More specifically, it can feel like you’re the only Christians on the planet who are …Read More
A confession. Glen and I don’t read the Bible together. We tried. And it was not good. You try doing bible study with a vicar with an encyclopedic memory. He already Knows the answers. And the context. And the original Greek. Plus, we have different approaches: He’s broad sweep, I’m details. He’s all ‘-ologies’ and ‘-isms’ – I’m starting-block and practicalities. Of course in some things, we’re the same. Unfortunately, these are the bad things. We’re both stubborn and opinionated and …Read More
Guest Post from Glen When Emma and I got together, 12 years ago, we were given the following piece of advice: “Make sure you marry a doubler”. This was repeated on our wedding day. “You’re marrying well there Glen,” said one Very Sound Evangelical. “Emma’s a doubler.” He was referring to a calculation that there are (apparently) ministry doublers and ministry halvers. This means that the question to be asked about every prospective bride is, “Is she a doubler?” Romantic, eh? You can …Read More
(Given the topic, I thought I’d do this post with Glen): Recently, Glen was chatting to a guy with a serious girlfriend. ‘Man,’ said the guy, ‘I’m really struggling with purity issues. I’ve got all these pent-up feelings and it’s hard holding off’. He took a sip of his pint, ‘Y’know?’ Glen did know. And so did his wife. But Glen asked a question: “Do you think marriage will solve those problems?” “Yes! Wait: you’re saying it won’t?” This time …Read More
Yesterday I was thinking about how to move past the past. I mentioned a post by a friend who struggles with porn addiction – and his remorse, especially towards his wife. It’s one thing being sorry for your own mistakes. But how does knowing the gospel help those who’ve been hurt to step forward too? His wife writes this: I can also be very disorganized, selfish, tardy and tend to put myself first. I also consider myself an “addict” as well as …Read More
On Friday it’s our ten year wedding anniversary. TEN YEARS. For some of you this will seem like forever, to others, a drop in the ocean. For me it’s both. We’re a billion years from the couple that poddled down the aisle: I look back at photos and it’s like a different person.(In part because I was. Thanks to the folks at Wonderbra my chest could have been arrested under the trade descriptions act. My thinking was, by the time …Read More
Daunted by tomorrow. We’ve got a hospital appointment, followed by a seminar, unofficially billed as ‘Meet the Scriveners’. Thankfully, the official title is ‘Finding identity in Jesus’. So.. I’m thinking we’ll just lie. Glen can share cosy anecdotes from our perfect marriage, with me nodding adoringly at key points. ‘Hey honey – tell them about that thing you do: with the potato chips (Fake punch on arm) – it’s just the cutest…’ Or maybe ‘Here’s how we keep Bible reading and …Read More
Who is the person who frightens you most? For me, it’s my husband. I know what you’re thinking… Glen is not scary. He’s cuddly and overexcited. You’re right. Yet my husband scares me more than anyone else. Why? I like being in control. Straight lines and neat edges. Immaculate and ordered. My life, my way. Glen can visit – if he takes his shoes off and leaves the guitar in the car. This works in my head. Or a homeware catalogue. …Read More
Which is more powerful: the facts or your feelings? Yes I know – facts are True. But true is a boring hatchback parked neatly in my brain.Feelings are pimped-up red ferraris that power through the blood superhighways, pumping out Meatloaf and mooning the olds. Example fact: A hormone is a chemical released by a cell, a gland, or an organ in one part of the body that sends out messages that affect cells in other parts of the organism. Cells respond to a …Read More
Struggling a bit this week. We’ve got a fertility appointment on Friday and the whole thing just makes me feel sick and sad and enormously weary. The issues are complicated. (Mind you, I doubt anyone rocks up to this clinic with a simple problem and a simple solution. ‘You’re banana-deficient: here! Eat this…and may your womb be blessed’). Add in our faith-based treatment qualms and you get a laughing consultant who, at our last appointment, asked if we understood percentages. …Read More
