Managing The Missus

By January 24, 2013 Blog

Two guys overheard in a coffee shop: A: Mate, you can’t let her treat you like that.  Serious. Two nights in a row she’s been out with her friends, but if that was you, she’d go ballistic.  Tell me I’m wrong’ B:’Yeah. Maybe’ A:’See? Mind games.’ B:’Right’ A:You have to take control, but (lowers voice):  let her think she’s in charge’ B: ‘Right’. A: ‘Otherwise they go mental’. B: ‘Yeah’. A: ‘Next thing you know she’ll be facebooking her ex’ B: (looks at …Read More

Big Boys Don’t Cry

By January 23, 2013 Blog

At work they call him ‘The Boss’. A man’s man: built like a wall – or so we thought. He seemed alright to me.  Bit quiet, but he was never a big talker – even when we were kids. We’ve been through a lot together – but that’s life. Past is past, mate. Wipe off your lipstick and let’s get another drink. Twenty years and not a day off. ‘No time to be sick’. Nothing flustered him: angry customers, delayed shipments, …Read More

Real Men, Real Tears

By December 4, 2012 Blog

“I felt so utterly lonely.. and I couldn’t reach out to explain to people”.     “I didn’t have a name for it, I didn’t know what it was”. “It was terrifying .. I couldn’t get across how I was feeling”. “I could walk into a room full of people and it was like I was the only one there”. “I lost interest in the kids and my missus and doing things that we used to do. . . they’d ask their mum, ‘Why is Daddy …Read More

Torch Bearers

By August 5, 2012 Blog

I hated sports at school – but even I’ve been caught up in the Olympic headlines. Yet some of the greatest victories are won outside the main stage. Speaking to the Sunday Telegraph, Ian Sockett, (one of the Olympic torch bearers), tells his story: “Four-and-a-half years ago I was lying in hospital, terrified I was about to die. I weighed about 5½st and had been anorexic for 20 years. Of course, a lot of people assume men don’t suffer from …Read More

I’ll Have What He’s Having

By May 20, 2012 Blog, identity

Hugo Schwyzer, on why having a slim girlfriend is about status rather than attraction:   ‘Eating disorders — and the broader problem of poor body image — aren’t unique to women, nor can they be attributed to one single cause. But it’s undeniable that whatever the truth about men’s desires, young women’s perception of “what guys want” plays a huge part in the pursuit of thinness. While the fashion industry deserves some blame for perpetuating an unattainable ideal, men’s refusal …Read More

All The Single Fellas

By March 11, 2012 Blog, identity

I’ve got a stonking female Christian friend.  Properly properly gorgeous – inside and out. I’d practically marry her meself. She’s sold out for Jesus, other-centered, humble, funny and a fox to boot. She’s also single  and has been for a while. But nothing’s happening. And it seems like the Christian guys around her tend to opt for one of two approaches. They either: a.) don’t do anything (even though they might be interested) or b.) forge ahead, whilst trying to keep …Read More

When It’s Murder Being A Man

By November 21, 2011 Blog, identity

What does a ‘real’ man look like? The guy on the billboard, all pecs and ego? The metrosexual with guyliner and man-bag? A misogynist brute, enslaved to his hormones? Mr Fix-it, good with his hands?  The sports-mad Jock, just one of the lads? Is he the darling of rom-com hero:  sensitive, soulful and close to his mum? Or an all-action hero: hard as nails,  with no time for sentiment or weakness? Each day we’re presented with wildly differing images of masculinity. What we’re rarely shown is …Read More

The Macho Messiah

By September 2, 2011 Blog

Forget Alpha.  The latest evangelistic strategy for the modern church is this: seeker-friendly cage-fighting. Just one example of a  variety of ‘mixed martial arts’, (MMA). MMA is being hailed in some quarters as an expression of biblical masculinity. In the film ‘Fighting Politics‘ the pastor Mark Driscoll argues for its legitimisation as a sport, by saying: ‘“I don’t think there is anything purer than two guys in a cage. ..As a pastor and as a Bible teacher, I think that God …Read More

Man Up, You Loser

By August 15, 2011 Blog, identity

We read a lot today about sexism. I tend to look at it from a woman’s perspective – and there’s no question that such misogyny exists.  But prejudice cut both ways.  Whilst waving the banner for equality, I wonder if we practise something very different.  Are we emasculating the very men we’re telling to grow up? It seems to me that we’re part of a culture that continually puts men down.  Get a group of women together and it’s not …Read More

Real Men Play Away

By May 26, 2011 Blog, identity

So, apparently men are genetically programmed to have affairs. Actually, that’s not quite true. Sexy men, manly men, ‘real’ men – 100 per cent prime beef men, they’re the ones ‘driven’ by testosterone to seek solace in far-flung beds. And cars and hotel rooms and…oh, never mind. But make no mistake, we’re not talking about Travel Lodge. According to Dr John Gray, author of ‘Men are from Mars’ (or is it Uranus? Moving on..) – powerful men have a higher …Read More