10 Myths of Perfectionism

By August 15, 2019 Blog

This is one from the archives.  But it seems appropriate as September looms and I start obsessing about new pencil cases and Getting Everything Right. Perfectionism porkies: 1. It makes me into a better person. Actually, no. It makes me a real pain to be around. Grumpier. More critical.  More self-focused. And lonely (because ‘friends’ are actually competition). 2. It helps me perform. The reality – it stops me even trying. 3. I feel better knowing that I’ve done my …Read More

Tantrum training

By June 27, 2019 Blog

The first time Ruby’s brother had a tantrum, she looked aghast and covered her ears. ‘Mum,’ she shouted,  I DON’T LIKE THAT NOISE.  STOP IT!  STOP IT!’ I knew exactly how she felt. When a toddler or baby cries, there’s something in you that starts flashing.  High alert, sirens wailing – a burst of panic that spreads across your body. Half of you wants to run away and the other half wants to join in the screaming. Neither works. Here’s what …Read More

Blessed are the mentally ill because…

By June 20, 2019 Blog

…in our weakness we can learn certain strengths: humility: suddenly, the plug is pulled.  You’re not who you thought you were; and it hurts.  You can’t think yourself out of it or get your act together. But with it, a savage freedom; a letting go – because it’s been taken from you. And in your emptiness, a new understanding of grace. God does it all – He always did, but now you see it. dependence: to survive, you must learn …Read More

You are not your mood

By April 24, 2019 Blog

you are not a mind reader. No-one else is thinking about how weird you are.  Odds on, they’re thinking about how weird they are. you do not have a crystal ball. It might feel like catastrophe is imminent, but you’ve had those feelings before (many times perhaps), and you’re still standing. Daily bread is what you need. And daily bread is what you have. Don’t worry about tomorrow. it’s really ok to have mental health struggles. That makes you one in …Read More

The body-mind match: guest post

By February 25, 2019 Blog

Thank you to the lovely Sharon, for another really helpful guest post…   When mental health problems and physical illness collide We are all increasingly aware of the mind-body connection. If we eat a piece of dark chocolate or go for a run, endorphins are released, and our mood improves. If we live on fast food for a few days or lie about on the sofa for too long, we are likely to feel low. Similarly, physical illness affects our …Read More

Coming out about mental illness

By February 19, 2019 Blog

Maybe it’s something you’ve known about for many years, but been too scared to share. Or you’ve received a recent diagnosis; a name for all the stuff that is dominating your life. Sometimes it’s easy, like someone has joined the dots on a picture of you.  Sometimes, putting its’ name and your name together feels foreign, even wrong. You’ll need time to make sense of it; and to work out who, and if (see here), you want to tell. Whatever …Read More

Children and Mental Health

By December 11, 2018 Blog

Some things to consider if you think your child might be struggling with their mental health… Is your child’s behaviour age-appropriate? Has it changed recently? What about the basics: eating, sleeping, communication? Every child is unique; so comparisons can often be unhelpful.  However, there’s a difference between a 2 year-old having a melt-down and a 10 year-old doing the same thing. Listen to your guts – you know what’s normal for them and what feels wrong. Keep a diary of …Read More

Guest Post: Helping Mental Health Inpatients

By November 26, 2018 Blog

Here’s another brilliant guest post from Sharon, who’ll be releasing an AMAZING book on mental health next year.   (Details to follow). Thank you my friend! Unforsaken: Bringing God’s love to a friend in the Mental Health Inpatient Unit “God has said, ‘Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.’”                    Hebrews 13:5 When someone is admitted to a Mental Health Inpatient Unit (sometimes still known as the psychiatric ward), it can feel as if they have really hit …Read More

BPD – My Experience (Guest Post)

By November 12, 2018 Blog, BPD

Huge thanks to T for sharing her story, in this brave and honest guest post.    I first got a diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) about 10 years ago. It was in many ways a relief, as there was finally a single condition that covered the different, seemingly disparate, symptoms that I had battled with over the years. It also validated the reality that the feelings and thoughts that often threatened to overwhelm me, and led to destructive behaviours, …Read More

Borderline Personality Disorder

By October 30, 2018 Blog, BPD

What it is Also known as emotionally unstable personality disorder, (EUPD).  Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a mental illness that makes it hard for sufferers to know themselves, control their feelings and impulses and relate to others. It’s called ‘borderline’ because in the past, mental illnesses were categorised as ‘psychoses’ or ‘neuroses’ and it didn’t fit into either category. What it’s not a myth chosen by sufferers untreatable How it feels: a disturbed sense of identity (not knowing who you are …Read More