When the ‘wrong’ words are right

By August 25, 2019 Blog

This is not the blog post I planned to write. The one I planned was short and snazzy. It had a catchy title, ‘Questions you should never ask.’ Or, even better: TEN THINGS YOU SHOULD STOP SAYING TO HURTING PEOPLE, RIGHT NOW! A neat list of questions to make you quiver. The kind that, when asked of you, make you fold yourself into tiny triangles. Missiles, like these: Don’t you think it’s time to move on from your grief? Why aren’t …Read More

Tantrum training

By June 27, 2019 Blog

The first time Ruby’s brother had a tantrum, she looked aghast and covered her ears. ‘Mum,’ she shouted,  I DON’T LIKE THAT NOISE.  STOP IT!  STOP IT!’ I knew exactly how she felt. When a toddler or baby cries, there’s something in you that starts flashing.  High alert, sirens wailing – a burst of panic that spreads across your body. Half of you wants to run away and the other half wants to join in the screaming. Neither works. Here’s what …Read More

My first post

By May 16, 2019 Blog

Thanks for all of your prayers and messages of support for us over the next few weeks and months.  Thanks too for reading this blog! I realised today, it’s been nearly nine years.  So to celebrate, here’s my very first post…   I’ve finally caved in. I am now ‘a blogger.’ I’ve been holding out against this for a long time. My husband’s been nagging me to blog ever since he started 3 years ago. I’ve always called myself a …Read More

What to say when a friend opens up

By March 19, 2019 Blog

I’m listening for as long as you want to talk. How does/did it feel telling me? I’m so glad you shared this.  That can’t have been easy and it means a lot that you trust me. Can you explain a little more about X?  I want to make sure I understand what you’re saying. This doesn’t change how much I care about you and our friendship. This doesn’t change how much God loves you and is committed to you. I …Read More

Coming out about mental illness

By February 19, 2019 Blog

Maybe it’s something you’ve known about for many years, but been too scared to share. Or you’ve received a recent diagnosis; a name for all the stuff that is dominating your life. Sometimes it’s easy, like someone has joined the dots on a picture of you.  Sometimes, putting its’ name and your name together feels foreign, even wrong. You’ll need time to make sense of it; and to work out who, and if (see here), you want to tell. Whatever …Read More

Warning signs (and what to do)

By January 28, 2019 Blog

  The warnings: crying at almost everything. Choosing what to wear. Spilling sugar. Opening the blinds. Talking to another human being. Putting the duvet cover on.  Finding the right change. not being able to cry.  Or feel much of anything. Everyone and everything is behind a thick pane of glass and their words are muffled and you’re too tired to keep shouting ‘WHAAT?’… and anyway, your words are slow and not joined up and folks squint at you when you …Read More

Getting Past “Fine”: Guest Post

By December 18, 2018 Blog

Another really wise post from the lovely Sharon Hastings.  Thanks, Sharon! …. We all know the scenario. It’s coffee time after church and people are milling around and chatting. Someone asks, “How are you?” and – regardless of what is going on in your life – you smile brightly and say, “Fine, thanks.” Perhaps there is someone in your church and you know that they are struggling with mental health issues. Maybe they haven’t been at church for a while. …Read More

Silencing Satan

By October 31, 2017 Blog

Christians believe in the devil. We’re meant to, at least. But we can fall into extremes when thinking about him. Either he’s not there at all (and a bit of a joke), or he’s everywhere – to blame for our ingrowing toenails and lost socks. However we think of him, the devil is there and he’s deadly serious. He’s there when we lose our temper and lash out. He’s there when depression sucks us down and we feel we can’t go …Read More

Why Your Story Matters

By October 19, 2017 Blog

Your story is unique. God is up to something in your life that He’s not up to in any other life. You don’t need to feel this for it to be true. Perhaps you’ve lost someone you love; and friends have too.  It looks like the same experience; but it’s not. Their mum is not your mum and their feelings will not be the same.  No-one else can speak your life; and it’s a story that’s written to be told. …Read More

12 Ways Christianity is Different to Spirituality

By September 22, 2016 Blog

Sometimes when I talk to others about Christianity, they say, “don’t worry, I’m very spiritual.” This can mean lots of different things.  It might mean that they have an appreciation for the immensity and beauty of the universe.  It might mean that they have a strong sense of morality or social justice.  It might mean they believe in angels. It might mean that they don’t want to offend me, (or want me to shut up about Jesus). It might mean that they have …Read More