Christians believe in the devil. We’re meant to, at least. But we can fall into extremes when thinking about him. Either he’s not there at all (and a bit of a joke), or he’s everywhere – to blame for our ingrowing toenails and lost socks. However we think of him, the devil is there and he’s deadly serious. He’s there when we lose our temper and lash out. He’s there when depression sucks us down and we feel we can’t go …Read More
Your story is unique. God is up to something in your life that He’s not up to in any other life. You don’t need to feel this for it to be true. Perhaps you’ve lost someone you love; and friends have too. It looks like the same experience; but it’s not. Their mum is not your mum and their feelings will not be the same. No-one else can speak your life; and it’s a story that’s written to be told. …Read More
Sometimes when I talk to others about Christianity, they say, “don’t worry, I’m very spiritual.” This can mean lots of different things. It might mean that they have an appreciation for the immensity and beauty of the universe. It might mean that they have a strong sense of morality or social justice. It might mean they believe in angels. It might mean that they don’t want to offend me, (or want me to shut up about Jesus). It might mean that they have …Read More
I just tell it like it is. (I’m rude. I don’t care enough to think about your feelings before opening my mouth) I have to be true to myself. (I’ll do what I want and stuff the consequences) It’s just the way I am. (It suits me to be like this. I don’t want to change and therefore I “can’t.”) Can I be honest with you? (Let’s drop the pretence of being nice) With all due respect, (which is none..) …Read More
An enormous thank-you to Catherine, for this brilliant guest post: “I don’t know if you can imagine losing your mind. My guess is that if you have never struggled with mental illness, you can’t. Speaking out of personal experience, my brain was probably the part of me I trusted the most, and took completely for granted….until it broke. And when mine broke, it was horrific. It felt horrific. “Legs break,” people will say earnestly, trying to explain and to comfort: …Read More
Depression is a beast. Sometimes you can spot it coming. But often, it sneaks up and grabs you from behind. At these times, the normal weaponry – self-care, support from friends/GP, comfort TV, maintenance meds – feel like sword-fighting with a plastic spoon. Or it would if you were up for a fight. Which, (along with other tasks like getting washed, cleaning your teeth and breathing), you’re not. A friend comes to you and says that they’re struggling. ‘Tell me this will end.’ ‘I can’t believe anyone else …Read More
Thank God for friends who are honest. It’s like gulping down fresh air when you’ve been stuck in a lift. A big jug of iced water when you’re melting in the heat. Or finally letting out your breath when you hadn’t realised you’d been holding it. The overwhelming, exhilarating relief of it. ‘You too? I thought it was just me.’ And not because your situations are necessarily identical. Or you’re facing exactly the same struggles. No, it’s something else. The joy of letting down …Read More
In yesterday’s post I wrote a letter to shame. And the responses reflect my own experience – a mixture of “praise God, He has nailed my shame to the Cross” and “Yes, but why don’t I feel it?” I don’t think the two are incompatible; in fact, I think this wobbling, trusting, yearning, frightened hope is often the shape of the Christian life. For one thing, what’s the prayer of all Christians? “I believe Lord, help my unbelief!” (Mark 9:24). Jesus …Read More
Dear Shame It’s me, Emma. You’ve been telling me who I am for a long time now. But I thought it was time I said something back. Feels like we’ve known each other – well, forever. But tell me,when were we first introduced? Was it at infant school, when I wet myself during story time? Or when my next-door-neighbour caught me stealing strawberries from her garden? Was it when my body started changing? When my boyfriend broke up with me? Or …have …Read More
1. Apologising for your existence. “Sorry this is going to sound stupid, but…” If you’ve done something wrong, then absolutely, put your hands up and say sorry. But there’s a difference between taking responsibility for your actions and apologising for yourself – for being you, having an opinion or taking up space. It’s exhausting for everyone concerned and it lands you in one of those excruciating circular conversations… – ‘My fault.’ – ‘No, no mine’ – ‘No, I’m to blame’ – ‘No I’m a …Read More
