Better Words

Not: I hope you’re not still hurting yourself.

Better: How are you feeling? How are you coping with those feelings?

Not: Have you been reading your Bible?

Better: Here’s some verses that have encouraged me recently.

Not (just): I’m praying for you

Better: Here’s what I’m praying for you

Not (just): We’re here for you

Better: Would you like to come over on Saturday/go for a coffee on Wednesday/watch a DVD? You can let me know on the day if that’s easier.

Not: I know just how you feel.

Better: How do you feel?

Not: Let me know if you want to talk anytime

Better: I’m in tonight from 7 if you want to come over or catch up on the phone

Not: What do you DO all day?

Better: Tell me about your day

Not: There’s plenty more fish in the sea

Better: What a tough week: I’m proud of you for handling this.  Want some company?

Not: God’s got a partner for you

Better: I’m sorry this is hard. Can you see any ways that God is working through this situation?

Not: Cheer up: it’s not as bad as you think

Better: Here’s how you encourage me – and this is why I’m glad we’re friends

Not:  You look like you’ve lost/gained weight.

Better:  How’s your eating going?  Have you had dinner?

Not: Why don’t you just stop X?

Better: What makes it hard to stop?  How can I help?

Not: How long do you think you’ll be sick for?

Better: I’m here for you as long as it takes

Not: This is the third week you’ve missed church.

Better: X, Y and Z send their love.  We were thinking how much we miss you.  Would you like to come on Sunday: and if it’s hard is there any way I can make it easier?