You can’t fix the past – and you don’t need to. Redemption means that everything, even your worst, your most shameful moments, are covered. They are being woven into something beautiful.
You can’t live in the future – and you wouldn’t want to. Even the future you desperately want – the one you dare not name because it’s too painful to open your heart to hope; even that would be no good for you right now. The future needs to remain the future, and you need to remain in the present.
That means you have nothing to deal with at all – nothing except now. This minute. And even in this, you are carried. As you read, take a breath. Then again. As your lungs fill with air know, God made me. Every cell, every freckle, every hair. Each part is precious to Him, each part, designed in just the way He wanted it. Each heartbeat beats “Mine. You are mine. I love you. I gave the whole world in your stead and in Me, you are perfect.”
The Lord says:
I love you. Your bumps and your scars; your folds and your wrinkles. Don’t despise them. Don’t despise yourself. As a mother looks at her child, I see you in your nakedness and my heart soars. When you were thrust, bleeding and howling from the womb, I carried you – and I will keep carrying you, until your last breath.
I made your body – and I made your mind and I made your heart. Don’t despise them. I know your sprawling thoughts and the hopes that are too frightening to speak. Your hungers and your fears; your passions and your pain – I see all these and I am not afraid. I will help you. I will lift you up. Forget yesterday, ignore tomorrow. Today….
In your day of trouble I will keep you safe in my dwelling; I will hide you in the shelter of my sacred tent and set you high upon a rock. (Psalm 27:5)
Wait for the Lord;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the Lord. (Psalm 27:14)